We Could Take on the World (Wide Web)
by ArwenisWholocked
Summary: What does a texting conversation look like among the Avengers? Here's an idea... A collection of texts sent between the Avengers team; no set time frame, but POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR ALL OF THE FILMS! Rated K for safety; the rating may drop to K sometime. (Cover image is not mine)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hiya, Chuck(s)! :D Welcome to one of the most ridiculous things I've ever done in my life… :P You got it, the AVENGERS ARE TEXTING! Yeah, this is my first Avengers fanfic (I'm writing one for Thor now), and it's really the first humour fanfic I've done. So wish me luck… And yes, this did at first come out a silly desire to write a viral fanfic with thousands of follows and reviews and stuff, but honestly, it's turning into a desire to write something that's complete crack, funny (I hope), and also something to focus on so I can get past my writer's block for the Thor fanfic ("Fallen God"). :3 But anyways, ENJOY! :D**_

_**-Arwen ;) **_

**Chapter 1: In Which Thor Discovers the Smartphone**

**Tony Stark**

**Thor | 2:26 pm**

ManOff IROn! I _**requisite**_ your assistancE

**JARVIS | 2:27 pm**

I apologise, Mr. Thor; Mr. Stark is currently in a meeting and cannot respond to your text message at this time. However, I will forward your message to him and he will respond at his leisure.

**Thor | 2:31 pm**

SoN of _**Steak**_, I fera I havfe been given te incorrect combination of digits by which I may _**correct**_ with you. It seems that I have instead contacted your disemboidied voice by which I am guided through your illustriouss tower. However;,. If you perchance receive this missive, I would seek your instruction regarding the operation of this '*mobile telephone"".! On Asgard, we do not have these intelligent phones; but I have found an interest in disckoveringhow such a device appears to have a miEnd of its own, for it corrects my statements without _**President**_ and replaces my words with meaningless phrases.: And I fear I cannot _**comprehended**_ the scarlet line which appears beneath my words, should they be incorre2ectly spelled.

**JARVIS | 2:32 pm**

I apologise, Mr. Thor; Mr. Stark is currently in a meeting and cannot respond to your text message at this time. However, I will forward your message to him and he will respond at his leisure.

**Thor | 2:32 pm**

I appear to agai21ne have used a faulty combination. I shall attempt to use a different grouping of these _**digitals**_.

**Tony Stark | 2:56 pm**

What the…? Since when did you have a phone?! And—oh, shoot. SERIOUSLY?! You're trying different numbers?

**Tony Stark | 2:58 pm**

This could be fun…

_**A/N: Haha, utter crack. Sheesh. So yeah, that's chapter one! Hope you liked it; I'll try to update it soon. This is sort of on the fly and has no plot or real rhyme or reason for existing… But hopefully you all will like this fanfic! :D As for the formatting, the bolded, italicised words are the ones that were autocorrected by Thor's phone, and the underlined words are the ones that are spelled wrong (which is pretty clear; and no, I don't spell that badly in real life). If at any point you're not sure what I meant when the phone autocorrects something, just let me know and I'll tell you. Also, I'm not using any specific phone OS; I'm kind of just making it up as I go along. :D**_

_**Please feel free to drop me ideas for conversations the Avengers could have with each other! :D**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: DUDE. I got like four followers in less than 24 hours. THIS IS AWESOME. THANK YOU! :DDD And yeah, that probably sounds lame (honestly, if you read "Syrgja" by Lady Charity, she had 100 followers (or reviews?) by chapter 6), but hey. :D I've never gotten this much attention. So this is cool. But yeah, CHECK OUT LADY CHARITY! She's amazing… and "Syrgja" is fantastic. I'm almost finished with it and I cried several times. And also Ordis and her fanfic "Drown"… they have a similar writing style, but both of the stories are fantastic. SO GO READ THEM! And maybe by the time you do that I'll be back from vacation and have updated this one and "Fallen God"…**_

_**One other thing: underneath the chapter titles in this fanfic are names; they denote whose phone is being looked at. Sorry if that was unclear…**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_

**Chapter 2: Of Death and High Heels**

**Clint Barton**

**Nat | 5:37 pm**

Which pair of heels should I get?

_**Image attached**_

**Clint | 5:39 pm**

They're both pretty lethal. You trying to commit suicide in style or something? Cos you're going to break your neck in those.

**Nat | 5:39 pm**

*rolls eyes* I think I know how to walk in heels, Barton.

**Clint | 5:40 pm**

Uh-huh. So what job is Fury sending you on?

**Nat | 5:43 pm**

Who says he's sending me anywhere? Aren't I allowed to go shopping for myself? And BTW, I'm getting the black pumps.

**Clint | 5:44 pm**

Hey, don't come haunting me from the grave when you kill yourself with your five inch heels. And you don't shop, Natasha.

**Nat | 5:44 pm**

Sure I do.

**Clint | 5:45 pm**

Seriously, what are you doing?

**Nat | 5:51 pm**

*sighs* Fine. I'm planning on modifying them. Did you look at those heels? You could stab someone with them. So why not use them as weapons?

**Clint | 5:52 pm**

I guess. It'd definitely be humiliating… The target would never live it down. "Yeah, I got taken out by a pair of high heels… Don't judge…"

**Nat | 5:53 pm**

:D Who said anything about living it down? Or living in general?

**Clint | 5:55 pm**

True… Either way, this had better not become a habit.

**Nat | 5:55 pm**

What?

**Clint | 5:56 pm**

You shopping… like… a girl or something.

**Nat | 5:58 pm**

I kind of AM a girl, Clint.

**Clint | 5:59 pm**

You know what I mean. A NORMAL girl.

**Nat | 6:02 pm**

…Thanks a lot, Barton…

**Clint | 6:03 pm**

:D This healthy dose of reality has been brought to you byyy…__HAWKEYE!

**Nat | 6:05 pm**

Shut up, Clint.

_**A/N: Lol, that was fun. :D I had to rewrite the end… I didn't like it much and it seemed kind of stupid and long-winded. Hopefully this one was better! :D I regret nothing… and apologise a little bit for my lame humour… XP Stick around, though! There might be a group text session soon! :D We shall see…**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: I'M BAAAAAAAAAACK! :DDD Did you miss me? Anyway, NEW CHAPTER! Can't wait for the next one… it took a while to write, but I really ended up liking it.**_

_**THANKS AGAIN FOR ALL THE SUPPORT! :D Seriously, you guys are SO AWESOME! :D**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_

**Chapter 3: Science Time**

**Bruce Banner**

_**Group Text to: **_**The Avengers**

**Tony | 11:36 am**

I still say you're wrong.

**Bruce | 11:36 am**

About what?

**Tony |11:38 am**

Our discussion this morning. It's obvious that shaking them works!

**Bruce | 11:39 am**

Are we seriously going to do this again…? It's a dry substance under high pressure. The molecules wouldn't be able to move.

**Tony |11:41 am**

Yeah, they can. They just can't move as easily, which creates more friction and static electricity. So it adds more charge.

**Bruce | 11:44 am**

…That's… FINE. It's POSSIBLE, I guess, but not necessarily plausible. But no matter how you do it, Stark, shaking the battery does NOT work better to keep the appliance going than you getting off your lazy backside and getting new batteries.

**Tony | 11:45 am**

:D Told you. And why should I? I've got Dummy. And Captain Pushover, too. Oldie needs to stop giving in to puppy dog eyes so easily.

**Steve | 11:47 am**

…You DO know I can see this text, right?

_**A/N: I know, I know, it's short… Sorry… But I'm a bit busy and the long one will take a while to type out. So bear with me; I'll have it soon. Plus, I need to start working on my next chapter for "Fallen God", which WILL UPDATE SOON! I'm sorry it's been a while… Anyway, see you soon! Read and review, please! **___

_**-Arwen ;)**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: 'Sup, people? I'm back with a new CHAPTAAAAAH! :DDD So far, this one is definitely my favourite, I think. :D And it's back by popular demand (i.e., one person asked)—Thor tries to text Iron Man! :O So this one is for the ever-awesome FlockPack. :D**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_

**Chapter 4: Lady Lazarus**

**Thor Odinson**

**Thor | 2:49 pm**

Mañ O0f IRON!?.; It is I, Thor, Son of Odin! Have I acquired the correct _**combustion **_of digits to facilitate our communication thrOuhg this ambulatory tela phon?

**Unknown (349-6244) | 2:53 pm**

OMG! IS THIS SRSLY THOR?! LIKE THE REAL PERSON THOR?! OMG TXT ME BK! CN WE MEET UP R SOMETHING?!

**Thor | 2:57 pm**

I beg your forgiveness, unknown individual;! iAprear to have mistakenly reached your ambulatory _**communion**_ device; I am seeking the contact of _**fiend **_Stark.

**Unknown (349-6244) | 2:58 pm**

ITS TOTES KAY! TXT ME SOON! UR LIKE TOTES MY FAV AVNGR! XOXO 3 3

**Thor | 2:59 pm**

Of course,;, I shail attempt to reach your device at another point in time.

**Unknown (349-9244) | 3:01 pm**

What? I'm sorry, but I think you've got a wrong number.

**Thor | 3:02 pm**

XP :O I fear#that this is becoming a pattern You must forgive me for this incoveni1enc3. ?Would you possibly have the correct numbers by which I may contact Tony, son of _**Steak**_.?.!?:

**Unknown (349-9244) | 3:04 pm**

I'm really confused…

**Thor | 3:05 pm**

I apologise. Fear not, our contaéct may now cease.

**Thor | 3:08 pm**

Son of _**Steak**_, i fear that I may never speAk to you in this manner. I long to find the correct way to reach your device;, but each of my attempts is foiled by the cruelty of my mistakes. I desire your counsel greatly, my friend; you, Son of _**Steak**_, are the only one whom I may ask, anId I would treasure your words asa lover his bride

**Lazarus (359-8522) | 3:12 pm**

What the…?! Is this some sort of joke?

**Thor | 3:13 pm**

Sighing. I beg your pardon, Lady Lazarus. You are not the intended recipient of my missive.

**Lazarus | 3:14 pm**

Lazarus is a guy's name, Thor… And that text sounded very… WRONG. Anyway, the number is 357-6242.

**Thor | 3:15 pm**

My fullest gratitude to you, Lord Lazarus! In an example of my thanks, I present you with these small but amusing images called emote icons. :D ;) 3

**Lazarus | 3:16 pm**

You're welcome. How did you get this number? It's on an exclusive network.

**Thor | 3:17 pm**

I do not understand. ARe our communications devices connected by a structure of snares?

**Lazarus | 3:19 pm**

…Something like that…

**Thor | 3:24 pm**

Lord Lazarus, I chortle with graet mirth! L O L! Ha! For I have found a strange coincidence. Your combination of digits is identical to that of the fallen warrior, Son of _**Coal**_! Amusing, is it not?

**Lazarus | 3:25 pm**

Yeah… haha…! You got me, I'm actually Coulson… Funny, right? Haha… Even funnier since it's true…

**Thor | 3:26 pm**

It brings me great amusement indeed.

**Thor | 3:27 pm**

Wait… what?!

**Lazarus | 3:28 pm**

…oops…

**Lazarus | 3:33 pm**

Haha… *facepalm* Welcome to Level 7.

_**A/N: Haha… there's my offering. XD Lame, I know… But I hope you enjoyed my sad sense of humour anyway. BTW, HUGE thank you to Cassodembreankia for her idea about Tony and Bruce discussing batteries! :D If you guys have any ideas for chapters, please let me know! :D Till next time!**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: *looks at the date* Aw, crud, sorry, guys! **__** I know, I haven't been on in FOREVER. (Ok, not forever, but still, it's been a while.) So new chaptaaaaah! And yes, GROUP TEXT! YEAAAAAAAAAAH!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**-Gabe ;)**_

**Chapter 5: Revenge of the Fifth May Fourth on the Sixth**

**Tony Stark**

**Tony | 2:59 am**

Crud, whoops… May the Fourth be with you, guys.

**Steve | 3:02 am**

Mmad1j2;lk4

**Tony | 3:03 am**

And you, dude.

**Natasha | 3:05 am**

srsly, Stark? A, whyr u grp txting everyone in the _**meddle**_ of the night? Some of us like 2 sleep. And b, Star Wars is overrated.

**Tony | 3:08 am**

…That's hurtful. How could you say that about STAR WARS?!

**Tony | 3:09 am**

And please, like you're asleep. You're a SHIELD assassin; you guys are always up spying on people and poking your nose in everyone else's privacy and then shooting them.

**Clint | 3:14 am**

Pot calling the kettle black, Stark.

**Natasha | 3:15 am**

That's an understatement. And I'm awake NOW. I WAS asleep because I've got the day off tomorrow for once. But now I can't go back to sleep, so thanks for nothing.

**Bruce | 3:19 am**

It's too early, Tony… Go back to sleep.

**Tony | 3:21 am**

Hey. Unlike you lazies, I've been awake for the past two hours.

**Natasha | 3:24 am**

Only because you took a nap at 2 pm yesterday.

**Clint | 3:24 am**

Awww, that's cute.

**Tony | 3:25 am**

Sure thing, Tweety Bird. I'm at least being productive.

**Clint | 3:27 am**

…

**Tony | 3:28 am**

XD

**Clint | 3:28 am**

…

**Clint | 3:29 am**

…

**Bruce | 3:31 am**

Did he pass out or something?

**Clint | 3:32 am**

Seriously, Stark…? That's the lamest thing ever.

**Natasha | 3:33 am**

Grow up, Stark. Although Clint, quit being such a drama queen.

**Tony | 3:35 am**

XD In Clint's mind: ! #%! %

**Thor | 3:37 am**

GReetings, _**FIENDS**_. I SEE THAt that you havee awoken with great reluctance on this _**fined **_morning.

**Thor | 3:38 am**

Friend _**Steak**_, I do not understand the relevance or meaning of the strange symbols you have sent to us in your textual missive.

**Tony | 3:39 am**

Don't worry about it, Point Break. You're doing pretty well with the texting, dude. I can understand what you're saying, even.

**Clint | 3:41 am**

Yeah, nice work, Thor.

**Thor | 3:42 am**

My thanks, friends _**Steak **_and _**Baritone**_. Jane has assisted in explainging the various functions of this ambulatory communication device.

**Thor | 3:42 am**

Mobile phone.

**Steve | 3:45 am**

Morning, guys! Anyone up for a quick run? And quick question—remind me again why we text each other when we're all in Stark Tower? Tony does have an elevator so we can talk to each other.

**Clint | 3:47 am**

Are you kidding? I'm not riding the elevator up and down the tower just to talk to you all if I can use a phone. And it's Avengers Tower.

**Steve | 3:49 am**

Seems a little impersonal…

**Tony | 3:50 am**

Hey, it's still my tower! Just because you guys hang out on here doesn't mean you own it, too.

**Bruce | 3:51 am**

Come on, guys… it's too early to argue.

**Natasha | 3:54 am**

Yeah…

**Steve | 3:57 am**

Tony, it's the fifth… The fourth was yesterday.

**Tony | 3:58 am**

Same difference.

**Clint | 4:00 am**

Well then… REVENGE OF THE FIFTH. #likeaboss

**Thor | 4:02 am**

Is this revenge and fourth made in reference to a Midgardian holiday?

**Natasha | 4:03 am**

Long story.

**Bruce | 4:04 am**

Took six movies to explain it.

**Tony | 4:04 am**

Hey, then we'll make it a movie night tonight. You'll love it, Thor. Lots of spacey stuff and fighting and weird accents.

**Clint | 4:05 am**

A long time ago…

**Bruce | 4:06 am**

In a galaxy far, far away…

**Clint | 4:06 am**

Luuuuuke… I am your FATHER…

**Natasha | 4:05 am**

*groans* Noooo.

**Tony | 4:05 am**

*smirks* Trekkie.

**Natasha | 4:06 am**

:D Live long and prosper, Stark. :D

_**A/N: Yeah, this is what happens when I get bored of chem… :P So I hope you enjoy this! Sorry it's a day late… :3 Anyway, REVENGE OF THE SIXTH! (Because it's both.) And BTW, I am by all means a Star Warsian (Yeah, I just made up a name for the fandom. #likeaboss), not a Trekkie. (I do like the new movies, but that's about all I know about Star Trek.)**_

_**May the Force be with you… always.**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_

_**P.S. LOKI AND THE WINTER SOLDIER MIGHT COME! LMK IF YOU WANT THEM! I may add them anyway. XD**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Yo, peeps. Wuttup. Shtuff. XD Ok, I'm being lame today because I've got writer's block AGAIN for "Fallen God"… I have a chapter idea, and I started on it, but I have no idea what to do now. *headdesk* And now I have another story idea that I really want to try, but I refuse to start another project while I'm stuck with "Fallen God" (because I guarantee that FG will end up falling to the wayside, which I would hate to see happen…). So hopefully my writer's block will go away and I'll get some new ideas so I can start the other one and work on all three of my MCU stories at once. :P**_

_** Also, I'M BRINGING IN LOKI AND THE WINTER SOLDIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! YAAAAAAY! Can't wait! So it won't be until the next chapter that they come in as full-blown characters, but I'm definitely bringing them along for the ride. :D Thanks for your feedback; I'm including them for you guys especially. :D**_

_** Again, to all of the people who have read, reviewed, favourited, and/or followed, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really love hearing from you guys, and I keep getting taken by surprise by the amount of response this story is actually getting. :D**_

_** Enjoy!**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_

**Chapter 6: Fan Art Freakout**

**Tony Stark**

**Steve | 7:47 pm**

Have you guys ever looked up Avengers fan art? Some of it's really cool.

**Natasha | 7:48 pm**

Hey, you're expanding your horizons with the internet! Good job. :D

**Natasha | 7:49 pm**

And yes, I have. It's… interesting, at times…

**Tony | 7:52 pm**

Oh, heck yeah. It can get pretty scary. Like there's this one that I found on tumblr the other day; I've got a link around here somewhere… You'll totally freak out, Gramps.

_**Image attached**_

**Clint | 7:53 pm**

…The heck?! #ingrainedinyourbrain

**Natasha | 7:53 pm**

*pukes*

**Bruce | 7:53 pm**

…

**Thor | 7:54 pm**

Is such… questionableartwo3k tradiTI1Onal among the people of Midgard?:2

**Steve | 7:54 pm**

Seriously, Tony? That was uncalled for.

**Tony | 7:55 pm**

XD XD You asked, Cap.

**Clint | 7:58 pm**

No, Steve asked if you'd seen Avengers fan art. YOU decided to take it to the nth degree.

**Tony | 8:00 pm**

Hey, at least Steve now knows that fan art isn't all fine and dandy. He would've figured it out soon enough.

**Bruce | 8:01 pm**

GUys, enough, pelease? I dont think you guys want to be responsible for any _**oft**_ he damage that might result if you keep it up.

**Natasha | 8:02 pm**

Point taken.

**Steve | 8:03 pm**

Sorry, Bruce.

**Bruce | 8:04 pm**

Thank you.

**Clint | 8:07 pm**

Hey, Steve, you ought to put some of your artwork out on the web. You've got some cool stuff, dude.

**Steve | 8:07 pm**

Thanks! I might do that.

**Tony | 8:08 pm**

Ooh, I found another good one…

**Clint | 8:09 pm**

NO.

**Natasha | 8:09 pm**

NO.

**Thor | 8:09 pm**

NO.

**Bruce | 8:10 pm**

NO.

**Steve | 8:10 pm**

NO.

**Tony | 8:11 pm**

Alright, already! Sheesh. It wasn't even that bad! See?

_**Image attached**_

**Steve | 8:11 pm**

STARK!

**Thor | 8:12 pm**

Is this an image of LOKI?! And is heE being portrayed as a FEMALE?! LK

**Natasha | 8:12 pm**

tony wheres dumy i think I might have thrwon upa bit

**Bruce | 8:13 pm**

;ljkawe! #$AA

**Clint | 8:18 pm**

Nice work, stupid. Bruce is down here Hulking out. Thanks a lot.

**Steve | 8:19 pm**

*sighs* I'll take care of it.

**Tony | 8:21 pm**

Seriously, Romanoff?! You'd better not've stained my carpet. And you guys are such drama queens. It's just weird artwork!

**Steve | 8:22 pm**

It's INAPPROPRIATE, Stark. Now suit up and help before the Hulk gets out of control.

**Tony | 8:23 pm**

I don't take orders, Rogers.

**Natasha | 8:24 pm**

You got us into this, Tony, you help get us out.

**Tony | 8:25 pm**

Fine, I'm going.

_**Image attached**_

**Natasha | 8:26 pm**

So help me, Stark, I am going to rip your intestines out and shove them down your throat.

**Steve | 8:26 pm**

Enough, already!

**Thor | 8:27 pm**

Son of _**Steak**_, this is no longer amusing. I demand that these images cease.

**Clint | 8:27 pm**

Tony! Get a hint and for crying out loud, SHUT UP!

**Bruce | 8:27 pm**

Asl;jk325!  $J:L$! LJ:

**Tony | 8:28 pm**

Oh my gosh, you guys, can't you take a stupid joke?!

**8:29 pm**

_**Thor Odinson, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton have left the conversation.**_

**Tony | 8:29 pm**

…Apparently not.

**8:42 pm**

_**Silvertongue has joined the conversation.**_

**Silvertongue | 8:42 pm**

Well… this is interesting. :D

_**A/N: TADA! Another lame attempt at being funny. SILVATONGUE. XD Ok, I seriously was sorely tempted to make his name "Mr Silvertongue", but that's plagiarism because that's JARVIS' name for Loki in **_**Drown**_**by Ordis (CHECK HER OUT! OMGL SHE IS AMAZING).**_ _**But I hope you enjoyed it! Like I said, Loki won't fully appear until the next chapter, and I'm not sure when the WS will come in, but they will arrive. :D And there may be guest appearances from people like Pepper, DARCY (:DDD Because Darcy is too funny for words), and maybe Jane. (Honestly, I really don't like Jane. I don't know why, but something about her gets on my nerves.) But that's all to come!**_

_** Now, to figure out "Fallen God" and to one day do my math test… :3**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello! So today is a monumental day… TODAY… I HAVE… *drum roll*…**

…**Written possibly the longest author's note in history because it's late and I like to ramble. :P But anyway…**

**Friends, fangirls, and Fandom-men, I address you on this not-really-that-momentous-day to bring you a message from its Highness, The Bottom of My Heart. And thus, the missive follows:**

**THANK YOU!**

** Ok, so this is really off the cuff and random, but I just went through another 10 notifications of new followers and reviews, and I am just overwhelmed by how awesome you all are. Gallifrey… *cries* You guys seriously are the best, and thank you SOOOO much for everything! I read every single one of your reviews and I love them, and I know I've sent PMs to you guys to say thanks and such, but still, it never seems like enough. So from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH! I love you guys; you're going to make me cry… Ok, not really. XD But you people are seriously amazing. :D**

** Also, update on things: as for the description of this story, I probably should take out the post CA:TWS qualifier… I'm really just writing this story in the MCU without paying much attention to what's happened and such. So while there will likely be current characters from the most recent movies and such, the events are kind of at any random time. So sorry if that was a bit confusing… because technically, Loki shouldn't be able to text anybody or wreak havoc on anything since he's undercover and stuff, but he's here anyway and I can't find a good explanation as to why he'd blow his cover just to text Thor and get on the Avenger's nerves. :P Thus, this story is more of a timeless fanfic that just happens. (I hope that makes sense, because it does when I say it in my brain but not when I read it out loud.)**

** Also, I mentioned bringing in the Winter Soldier at some point… that may be a while, just because I honestly have NO clue how he'd act, considering the events of Cap 2. I don't really like writing characters that I don't really know much about because I'm always worried that they'll end up being very OOC; thus, the WS may be only an occasionally recurring character (as opposed to Loki, who may very well become a regular).**

** Another thing: I AM TAKING REQUESTS! :D If you guys have chapter ideas or anything you'd like to see happen in this story, please let me know! I may not use EVERY idea, such as directions the story could go—mainly because this story isn't meant to have a plot; it's just for fun and is also meant to be a sort of stress ball type thing for when I have a funny idea and when I get writer's block on other stories. But I'm open to ideas; I love those things. :D**

** Ok, what else… Besides the fact that this author's note is ridiculously long… Yeah. Just thanks sooo much to all of you guys! :D You make my day. :D**

** Cass: Thanks! :D Loki is definitely going to be fun to write; I love that guy… I've done his serious side in "Fallen God" (sorry about all the self-advertising, but that's my magnum opus if you don't count WCTW3), but it'll be fun to have his more mischievous, funny side on here. And thanks for your sympathy… Writer's block sucks. Especially when it keeps coming back for a couple of days, going away, and then coming back… XP**

** Guest: Thanks! Will do, hopefully, if my stupid AP doesn't kill me…**

** The Writer Es and RaphaelplusMikey: I PMed you, so I won't bother talking anymore on here and running my mouth more than is necessary. XD**

**UPDATE: OH MY GALLIFREY, I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY! I know it's been absolutely ages, and I'm just going to blame it all on school, but I feel absolutely awful for leaving you all for so long! *cries* And I will get back to Fallen God soon, so stay tuned.**

**Chapter 7: Silvertongue**

_**Text Conversation with Avengers group**_

**Steve | 11:09 am**

Alright, fess up. Who did it?

**Tony | 11:12 am**

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar…?

**Natasha | 11:13 am**

-.- Did what?

**Steve | 11:15 am**

Someone replaced my background picture on my phone with a moving picture of Stark posing in his bathing suit dancing and saying "I'm sexy and I know it".

**Tony | 11:16 am**

Well, I am.

**Clint | 11:18 am**

Can it, Stark. It wasn't me, at any rate; I haven't seen anyone except Nat all day.

**Bruce | 11:21 am**

Yeah, I've been with Tony all day, and I don't think he was near Steve's phone. So I doubt he did it, even though I wouldn't put it past him.

**Tony | 11:22 am**

Right. But kudos to whoever did it; it was a brilliant idea.

**Steve | 11:24 am**

Well, it didn't change itself, did it? And Thor's back in Asgard for a political engagement, so obviously he didn't do it. So come on, whose idea was it?

**Silvertongue | 11:25 am**

Oh, for Odin's sakes, is this HONESTLYhow this is going to play out? You all are simply pathetic, although I have no reason to be surprised. You are, after all, Midgardians.

**Tony | 11:25 am**

A fsdjk;l! $ …

_**Message censored**_

**Silvertongue | 11:26 am**

How very eloquent of you, Stark.

**Tony | 11:33 am**

Dang it. If this is the jerk I think it is, you get to pay for the rack of test tubes Bruce just broke. And you can pay for the holes the acid in the tubes burned through my flooring.

**Bruce | 11:34 am**

_**Howie **_diaeD he get on Here SOMEone had better startatew explaining, or else hesgoing to be _**paging**_ for a lot more than just a few Peiwces of glass

**JARVIS | 11:35 am**

I'm afraid I must inform you that there has been a security breech, detected at approximately 11:34:59 am; my protocols were overridden at approximately 10:28:32 am. A certain "Mr Silvertongue" is waiting in Mr Stark's sitting room on floor 28.

**Natasha | 11:38 am**

Oh, RIGHT! NOW he tells us! I'm on my way down; you all had better be there before me.

**Silvertongue | 11:40 am**

Do you always treat your guests with such pomp and circumstance? And such immense courtesy, too! Am I blushing?

**Steve | 11:42 am**

Loki, if you're smart, you'll stop talking before someone stops your talking FOR you. Is ANYONE down there yet?!

**Silvertongue | 11:45 am**

KIndly calOOFF your archer!  I1  $isstrangling me _**honesty**_ the _**beast**_ m 1ethod ofmurder heeee can think o? 

**Natasha | 11:52 am**

I'm here and so are Clint, Tony, and Bruce. Steve, can you hurry up and get here? Bring back up.

**Natasha | 11:54 am**

And for gosh's sakes, will someone PLEASE get Loki off of his phone?!

_**A/N: Ok, so this one wasn't very funny… Honestly, I wasn't quite sure what to do with this. I wanted to bring Loki in, but I wasn't quite sure how. Hopefully you guys won't kill me for giving you a "meh" chapter after having been gone so long… *drops to a muted whisper while casting furtive glances around* …and when I won'tbebackforanotherweekorso pleasedon'tkillme!**_

_***sighs* Yeah, I know… I'm sorry. I'm going on vacation, so I can't update until I get home. But I do plan on working on chapter ideas! So stay tuned; hopefully I'll have something for you soon after**_ _**I get home! Thanks again for all of your fantastic support; it's so much more than I dreamed of. :D**_

_**Love,**_

_**Arwen ;)**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Erlo! How's it hanging, people? So I'm back with a new chapter! Hope you like it; I literally just came up with the idea about 10 seconds ago. I'm not kidding. Goes to show how much I plan ahead… XP**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_

**Chapter 8: FootSoccerball and Trusting the Lie Smith**

**Natasha Romanoff**

_**Text Conversation with Avengers Group**_

**Tony | 12:59 pm**

GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAL!

**Steve | 1:00 pm**

Holy cow, you guys, did you see that?! That kick was insane!

**Natasha | 1:02 pm**

It would be greatly appreciated if you would quit spamming everyone with updates from the World Cup game. SOME of us actually have jobs.

**Bruce | 1:03 pm**

Come on up, Natasha; you're missing a great game. The paperwork will hold for an hour.

**Clint | 1:05 pm**

You should, Nat; it's a blast up here, but Pepper needs some support. She's the only girl here. You're not missing anything right now; it's at halftime, so we can fill you in on what you missed.

**Thor | 1:06 pm**

Lady Nata sha, I too would appreciate your _**presents**_ with us as we watch this gmae of fooot ball. I do not _**understatement**_ the game ENTirely, and if you are familiar with the sport, I would appreciate yro exp;anation of it. Nevertheless, our team spirit will remain if you are unable to join us.

**Pepper | 1:09 pm**

You should come up, Natasha; I can help you go through the paperwork later to make up for the lost time. I think you'll have a blast up here.

**Natasha | 1:11 pm**

…Fine. But you all had better explain to Fury if I miss anything important with SHIELD because of this.

**Thor | 1:11 pm**

Excellent! We are commingling in the _**Maine **_lounge on floro 23.

**Silvertongue | 1:13 pm**

Well, this seems like a good enough time to gatecrash…

**Bruce | 1:14 pm**

Every time. Every stinking time I start to have fun, HEesh ows up. Go awa, loki, _**uncles **_u wnt you1 r face bashed in.

**Silvertongue | 1:17 pm**

Once again, I am staggered by your hospitality and courtesy towards me. Would anyone mind telling me which team is which? I can't distinguish them by their coloured tunics.

**Tony | 1:18 pm**

Since when did you care about soccer? BTW, Thor, it's SOCCER, not football. Football is with a pigskin.

**Thor | 1:19 pm**

A pigskin…? I do not follow. Do Midgardians trul y make sport with the hide of a swine?

**Tony | 1:19 pm**

*facepalm* It's official, Thor. You're hopeless.

**Pepper | 1:20 pm**

Stop being rude, Tony. Thor, a pigskin is another word for an American football. Remember the games you watched at Thanksgiving with Bruce and Tony?

**Silvertongue | 1:22 pm**

A curious tradition, I must admit. What, exactly, is the point of a game in which the players hurl themselves at each other, breaking bones and bashing heads, all to get to the other end of the field?

**Steve | 1:23 pm**

Not to play devil's advocate here, but I have to side with Loki on this one.

**Thor | 1:25 pm**

Brother, I _**now**_ not what you mean to do herse, or how yohave come into this conversation. Nevertheless, if ou can control your mischievous behaviours,,I would invite you to _**joint **_us in our observation of this World Cup game.

_**New texting conversation with Bruce Banner, Thor Odinson, Natasha Romanoff, Pepper Potts, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, and Steve Rogers**_

**Bruce | 1:28 pm**

WHAT?!

**Natasha | 1:29 pm**

Thor, we can't trust him and you KNOW that!

**Clint | 1:29 pm**

Where's my bow?

**Tony | 1:30 pm**

What the heck, Thor?! This is MY tower, and I say he can't come up here.

**Steve | 1:31 pm**

HEY! Maybe we should give him a chance. There's a ton of us here. We've beaten Loki before; if we need to, we can do it again.

**Pepper | 1:32 pm**

Steve's right. JARVIS says that Loki has been hiding out in the tower for the past two days; he just doesn't know where. If Loki wanted us dead or COULD kill us, he'd have done it by now.

**Thor | 1:34 pm**

I must confess, my brother iws indeed untrustworthy. I therefore understand your relcutance to accept him into _**hour**_ circles. Nevert heless, I would like to give Loki a chance. Furthermore, my _**farther**_ has placed powerful _**words**_ and enchantments on Loki to resturct his magic to small spells or violent behoaviour with an ankelt that only I or the Allfather can remove. Loki will be unable to harm us.

**Tony | 1:35 pm**

*sighs* Fine. But YOU are paying for any and all damage or funeral costs, and I want a full explanation as to how Loki was able to get to Earth in the first place and to get into my tower.

**Thor | 1:35 pm**

In answer to your question, Heimdall may have allowerd him to come toEarth, perceiving that Loki would not be a _**grape**_ threat. Loki si, however, cunnig with even a small amount of spells, and probably enetered ths Tower by manipulating a small _**a mound**_ of magic and a limited knowledge of Midgardian technology.

**Clint | 1:36 pm**

Thanks, Thor; I feel SO reassured now.

**Steve | 1:37 pm**

Come on, guys; we should at least give it a try.

**Natasha | 1:38 pm**

I don't like it.

**Steve | 1:38 pm**

None of us does, but we can at least show a bit of mercy by giving Loki a shot.

**Bruce | 1:39 pm**

Alright; just so long as someone BESIDES me pays for the damage if I Hulk out. I'll try not to, but I can't make any promises.

**Thor | 1:39 pm**

I understand. Thank you, my friends.

_**Texting conversation with Avengers Group**_

**Thor | 1:41 pm**

Loki, we once again would invite you to join us in the observation if this game.

**Silvertongue | 1:42 pm**

So you've all decided not to murder me if I do?

**Tony | 1:42 pm**

Don't push your luck, Rudolph. You've infiltrated my tower, hacked my texting conversations, messed with Steve's phone (*coughnicejobonthatoneactuallycough*), and now you've made me miss the first seven minutes of the second half. So if you're watching, don't expect any niceties from me.

**Silvertongue | 1:44 pm**

Thank you for your warm welcome. I shall join you presently.

_**Silvertongue has left the conversation.**_

**Steve | 1:45 pm**

See? That wasn't so bad. Now will someone PLEASE explain to me why we're texting each other from two inches away?

_**A/N: Tadaaaaaaa! Not as funny as usual (again), but I figured I'd set some groundwork on this. I figured I'd do a bit of World Cup stuff in spirit of the games (ENGLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND FOREVAAAAAAAAAH), so I hope you enjoyed it! And it's FOOTBALL, not soccer. (I'm an extremely unpatriotic American, I know. XD) But anyway, there you are! I'm not crazy about this chapter, so I may do another one soon to make up for it. So stay tuned! Again, I take suggestions for chapter ideas! Those are really helpful for when my brain freezes up… lol.**_

_**Thanks again to everyone who's read, followed, favourited, reviewed, etc. :D You all are AWESOME!**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: I know, I know… it's been too long. XP I went through a Winter Soldier craze and did nothing but read fanfics… So I haven't posted in a while. SORRY! Again. So here's a new one for you. Just so you know, THIS IS WHERE THE CAPTAIN AMERICA 2 SPOILERS MAY BEGIN TO SHOW UP! They aren't huge spoilers, and I'll try to avoid doing adding any, but they may be there! (Marvel already spoiled it anyway, so it's not a HUGE thing…) Anyway, I'll try to note any chapters that have really big spoilers in them from this point on. :)**_

_**ALSO: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2!**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel because I'm not Disney. I don't own The LEGO Movie (even though I'm the Special) because I'm not special enough and because I'm not… whoever made that movie. I don't own How to Train Your Dragon 2 or Hiccup because I'm not the boy on the moon or Dreamworks in general. And I don't own Frozen because who the heck would want to own that anyway (I can't do the songs, people. I just can't), and I already told you I'm not Disney. So yeah. I'm apparently not cool enough to own any of this stuff, but whatever.**_

_**I just won an award for lamest disclaimer ever. XP**_

**Chapter 9: Of Hiccup Getting Cute, Crying over Stoic, and Everybody's the Special**

**Pepper Potts**

_**Group text with the Avengers**_

**Tony | 3:44 pm**

Well! That was a blast.

**Natasha | 3:46 pm**

Eh. I still would rather have seen Edge of Tomorrow.

**Clint | 3:47 pm**

Hiccup got cute… just sayin'…

**Pepper | 3:48 pm**

Clint, you have no idea how weird that sounds coming from you… Where were you guys, anyway?

**Bruce | 3:50 pm**

We went to see How to Train Your Dragon 2. You should've come!

**Pepper | 3:51 pm**

I would've if it weren't for all this paperwork and meeting schedules. Speaking of which: Tony, you have a meeting in 20 minutes via Skype, and no, you can't back out of it.

**Tony | 3:52 pm**

Aw, come on… make JARVIS do it for me.

**JARVIS | 3:53 pm**

Sir, I am afraid that conducting business meetings is not in my skill set. Perhaps with a few upgrades?

**Tony | 3:53 pm**

Can't a man dream? :P

**Silvertongue | 3:55 pm**

I found parts of the movie somewhat… endearing, I suppose. However, the plot line was rather pathetic. However, their invoking of the gods at Stoic's funeral was… interesting.

**Clint | 3:56 pm**

Yeah… speaking of which, has anyone seen Thor?

**Natasha | 3:57 pm**

No… But it's been raining since the scene where Stoic died, so I'd assume it has something to do with that.

**Pepper | 3:57 pm**

What makes you think so?

**Silvertongue | 3:59 pm**

My DEAR brother seems to have associated Stoic's funeral with that of our mother's; many of the elements were similar. Thor is overly sentimental with anything that reminds him even remotely of Asgardian customs. Asu sual, itiis to his detriment. this was part of a fantastical _**tail**_ and has nothing to do with _**realty**_

**Silvertongue | 4:00 pm**

excuse m e

_**Silvertongue has left the conversation**_

**Tony | 4:01 pm**

Ugh, weepy gods… If Thor keeps this rain up, he'd better not flood my basement.

**Pepper | 4:02 pm**

Tony, have a heart for once. Stuff like that is difficult to cope with sometimes.

**Steve | 4:05 pm**

I think Thor and Loki are back to normal; they're arguing again, anyway.

**Natasha | 4:06 pm**

Neither of them knows what normal is.

**Bruce | 4:07 pm**

They're special, just like everyone else.

**Tony | 4:08 pm**

Don't tell me you're going to quote Emmet's speech to Lord Business from The LEGO Movie…

**Tony | 4:09 pm**

Anyway, I don't see why they need to fight so much… seriously, why don't they just… ;)

**Natasha | 4:09 pm**

DON'T YOU EVEN DARE, ANTHONY STARK.

**Tony | 4:09 pm**

LET IT GOOOOOO

**Clint | 4:10 pm**

LETIT GO, LET IT GO cnAT HOLD IT BACK ANY MOREEEEEEE

**Natasha | 4:11 pm**

SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU, OR I'LL STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR OWN VOCAL CORDS.

**Tony | 4:11 pm**

Sheesh, Psycho, calm down.

**Steve | 4:12 pm**

I wouldn't take such a threat lightly, Tony. Knowing Natasha, she probably could do that.

**Natasha | 4:12 pm**

And worse. So shut it.

**Bruce | 4:13 pm**

…Well. That was… interesting.

**Thor | 4:13 pm**

I have returned. .I thank you for yoru consideration of my emotional state. I confess it was not one of my _**batter**_ moments

**Steve | 4:14 pm**

It's fine, Thor. We understand.

**Pepper | 4:15 pm**

OH! Steve, I almost forgot… someone is waiting to see you.

**Steve | 4:15 pm**

What? Who?

**Pepper | 4:16 pm**

He said his name was James… He's in my office.

**Steve | 4:16 pm**

His name is WHAT?!

**Natasha | 4:16 pm**

…Ah.

**Bruce | 4:17 pm**

Something we should know about?

_**James has joined the conversation.**_

**James | 4:18 pm**

steve?

**Tony | 4:19 pm**

Dangit, Steve! That was a brand-new Starkphone whose screen you've just shattered. Put the phone DOWN and then be shocked. Welcome to the cult of insanity, Jimmy.

**James | 4:19 pm**

wheres sSteve?

**Steve | 4:20 pm**

Here.

**Tony | 4:24 pm**

...Awkward silence. Where are your manners, Cap? Sheesh. Introduce us.

**Pepper | 4:25 pm**

Tony… there's a time and a place…

**Steve | 4:26 pm**

It's… it's fine, Pepper. Guys, meet James… also known as the Winter Soldier.

**Tony | 4:28 pm**

…That wasn't expected.

**James | 4:29 pm**

i can go, I dont have to stay if ti makes you uncomfortable

**Natasha | 4:30 pm**

It's fine, James. :)

**Tony | 4:31 pm**

So… Winter Soldier, eh? ;)

**Bruce | 4:31 pm**

Oh, come ON, Tony…

**Tony | 4:32 pm**

Hey, James… Do you wanna build a snowman…?

_**A/N: *headdesk* XP These things get lamer every time… You guys are awesome for putting up with this nonsense. XD I'm glad you guys are liking this! And yes, I did bring in the Winter Soldier… I told you I would! :D I was looking for the right window. Most likely, he's going to recover a little faster than makes sense, just for the sake of this story. If I was doing a full-blown Cap 2 fanfic, I'd have his recovery take a lot longer. But in this case, I'll speed things up.**_

_**Till the next update... :)**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Flying**

**Bruce Banner**

_**Group text with the Avengers**_

**Clint| 3:13 am**

whos stupid idae was it to fly out at 0313 forcyrin _**opt**_ loud

**Steve | 3:15 am**

It is a bit early to be flying…

**Tony | 3:16 am**

I'm awake; why aren't you guys?

**Bruce | 3:17 am**

The only reason you're awke is because you never went to bed, Tony.

**Tony | 3:18 am**

…True… But still. Get some coffee.

**Clint | 3:20 am**

Frgit coffee red bull 4 me gots to _**lob**_ it

**Clint | 3:23 am**

Found one… why r we flying so erly anywy

**Steve | 3:24 am**

Fury says it's less conspicuous than flying private. He makes a good point, honestly; it's a covert mission to a crowded city, so we shouldn't TRY to look like we're not just tourists.

**Natasha | 3:26 am**

What's the flight itinerary, Stark?

**Tony | 3:28 am**

La Guardia to Cairo International. Flight leaves at 5:25 am and should land around 4:40 pm EST, 11:40 pm local time. The plane boards at 4:55 am.

**Thor | 3:30 am**

This will be an interesting adventure… I am intrigued by this idea of humans airbourne in a metal tube.

**Clint | 3:31 am**

*rolls eyes* you mean a plane?

**Thor | 3:31 am**

Yes, I believe that is the correct term.

_**Group text with Tony Stark, Thor Odinson, Clint Barton, and Natasha Romanoff**_

**Bruce | 3:36 am**

Are you guys SURE it was a good idea to bring Loki and the Winter Soldier?

_**Silvertongue has joined the conversation**_

**Tony | 3:37 am**

EVERY TIME! I TOLD you guys you should've switched to Stark Network.

**Silvertongue | 3:38 am**

Relax, Stark. None of the patrons of this building want to hear your virtual screaming.

**Thor | 3:40 am**

Friend Banner, I understand your trepidation; nevertheless, I am sure we may restrain them both if necessary. Captain Rogers also knows the Soldier far better than anyone, as in a past life they were great comrades; he assures me that he will be able to handle his friend.

**Silvertongue | 3:41 am**

As for myself, I have no plans to disrupt your little mission. It isn't worth the trouble of listening to Odinson's reproaches. Are we done here? I believe the Captain is getting somewhat suspicious.

_**Conversation ended**_

_**Group text with the Avengers**_

_**Silvertongue and James have joined the conversation**_

**James | 3:42 am**

This disguise lacks integrity. The glove and jacket attract too much attention.

**Steve | 3:43 am**

I was worried about that. Just ignore anyone staring or smile at them. If you act too pensive, you may appear more suspicious.

**James | 3:44 am**

Interpersonal interaction is… bad. I do not understand.

**Tony | 3:46 am**

Hey Terminator, talking like a robot isn't going to help distract people. Relax.

**Steve | 3:47 am**

Bu— James, it's ok to talk to people and to smile. Really; no one is going to get upset.

**Tony | 3:48 am**

Uhhh, that's debatable. Keep talking like that, Spangles, and he'll end up arrested for harassment. Or at least, everyone'll think he's a perv.

**James | 3:49 am**

I do not comprehend. What is… perv?

**Steve | 3:49 am**

TONY!

**Tony | 3:50 am**

What?! Sheesh!

**Steve | 3:51 am**

You're not helping!

**James | 3:51**

Steve says it is acceptable, but Stark disagrees. I do not comprehend.

**Steve | 3:52 am**

Ignore Tony, James.

**Tony | 3:54 am**

Oh, FINE. Yeah, ignore old Tony, he doesn't know anything. Out of the three of us, which actually KNOWS what century it is?

**Bruce | 3:55 am**

Tony?

**Tony | 3:55**

What.

**Bruce | 3:56 am**

Shut up.

_**Tony has left the conversation.**_

**Clint | 3:59 am**

Will someone tell Stark to stop being an idiot and quit pouting? He looks like a two year old.

**Bruce | 4;00 am**

Unsurprisingly; that IS his mental age.

**Thor | 4:01 am**

Amusing; he does respond to reproach much like an Asgardian youth.

**Clint | 4:02 am**

What exactly do you call "youth"?

**Thor | 4:03 am**

Approximately… 300 Earth years?

**Silvertongue | 4:03 am**

I don't think Barton's feeble mind can handle such pressure. Most humans are dead by that point, after all. And I would know.

**Steve | 4:18 am**

Was any of that honestly necessary?

**Natasha| 4:19 am**

Brilliant. There's no way Clint OR Loki will get out of custody before the plane leaves.

**Bruce | 4:20 am**

So no one appears ot have fatal injuries… Clint's got a bloody nose, Loki has some bad bruising from Clint trying to throttle him, and he may have broken his wrist, but other than that, they're fine.

**Natasha | 4:22 am**

Well, start thinking up excuses. Fury's going to kill us if he finds out that his #1 most wanted criminal is stuck in La Guardia airport with a couple of incompetent security guards, along with one of his best assassins.

_**Tony has joined the conversation**_

**Natasha | 4:23 am**

Done sulking?

**Tony | 4:23 am**

I'm surprised you're not off busting your boyfriend out, Romanoff.

**Natasha | 4:24 am**

I prefer to be more subtle than guns blazing.

_**Nicholas J. Fury has joined the conversation**_

**Fury | 4:27 am**

Alirhgt, who the [CENSORED] got [CENSORED] Loki and Barton locked up in a [CENSORED] airport security holding cell?! And why the [CENSORED] is Barnes reading a [CENSORED] Vogue magazine?!

**Steve| 4:28 am**

…Oh, boy.

_**A/N: I know, I know, it's been ages… I'm really sorry! My laptop is busted (again), so I had to go back to using the family computer, which I get limited access to. Between that, constantly doing stuff all during June and July, and lack of inspiration for chapter ideas, I haven't gotten around to posting anything new. So I hope you like this one! Again, I'm really sorry it's been so long… :P Hopefully I'll get a few more chapters in before school starts. :)**_

_**La'erz!**_

_**-Arwen ;)**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Hey, y'all! So here's the new chaptaaaaah! This is probably the fastest I've ever updated… you should be proud of me. ;)**_

_**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, favourited, followed, and the like; I really appreciate it! I hit 50 reviews; round numbers are awesome. :D I'd tell you how many views I've got, but I'm too lazy to add up the numbers from all four months that this story's been around, so… yeah. XP**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

**Chapter 11: In Which Tony Insults People, Complains, Creates Dumb Nicknames, and Suggests PTSD-Inducing Movies (i.e., In Which Tony is... Tony)**

**Steve Rogers**

_**Group Text with James, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, and Clint Barton**_

**Tony | 3:42 pm**

Owwwwww… my back is killing me. Pleaes tell me we're done with lifting couches. Please.

**Clint | 3:42 pm**

*rolls eyes* Drama queen…

**Steve | 3:44 pm**

Sorry, Tony; I didn't think the furniture was that heavy…

**Clint | 3:45 pm**

Please. They aren't that heavy, Tony's just being a baby.

**Tony | 3:46 pm**

Hey, hes got ab juice that makes him all buff and crap. d He's basdically on steroids. Hey, you odn't _**pray**_ sports, do you, -ccap?

**Tony | 3:46 pm**

stup id sweta keeps making me _**tie **_wrong

**Steve | 3:47 pm**

No, I don't play sports. And seriously, Tony? Ab juice?

**James | 3:47 pm**

What is ab juice?

**Clint | 3:48 pm**

The dumb man's way of saying super soldier serum.

**James | 3:50 pm**

I said ab juice… am I unknowledgeable?

**Clint | 3:51 pm**

What?! No! I was kidding, James! I was making fun of Tony, honest!

**James | 3:52 pm**

So… I am not unintelligent?

**Steve | 3:53 pm**

Of course not, Bucky! Clint was just joking.

**Tony | 3:55 pm**

Nice job, Clint, adding to Elsa's fear complex…

**James | 3:55 pm**

Who is Elsa?

**Clint | 3:56 pm**

*groans* Tonyyyyy, why can't you just talk normally so he can understand you?!

**Tony | 3:56 pm**

Well. This is a lost cause. Right, Terminator; we're watching Frozen tonight.

_**James has left the conversation**_

**Steve | 3:57 pm**

NO, WE ARE NOT.

**Steve | 3:59 pm**

Great. Tony…

**Clint | 4:02 pm**

Hey Cap, cut him some slack this time. It was an innocent suggestion to watch a great movie; Tony's just too dumb to realize the PTSD problems that the ice stuff would induce.

**Tony | 4:03 pm**

Yeah, he's right. And it IS a great—wait, HEY!

**Clint | 4:03 pm**

BAHAHAHHHHAHAHA #fail

**Tony | 4:04 pm**

Jerk.

**Steve | 4:10 pm**

Sorry, Tony; I shouldn't blame you. It wasn't that bad of an idea; it just wouldn't have sat well with Bucky.

**Tony | 4:12 pm**

No harm done, Rosie.

**Clint | 4:12 pm**

*chokes* Who?!

**Tony | 4:13 pm**

Rosie. Like Rosie the Riveter, that creepy girl with the guns on the old WW2 posters. She was patriotic, so's Spangles.

**Steve | 4:15 pm**

…Tony, in the words of modern day teenagers… that sucked.

**Tony | 4:15 pm**

Yeeaaaah… Not exactly my best work.

_**James has joined the conversation**_

**James | 4:17 pm**

There is a bed frame and two end tables still to be moved into Steve's apartment. I require assistance in moving them.

**Clint | 4:18 pm**

What's the magic word?

**James | 4:20 pm**

…Please?

**Tony | 4:21 pm**

YAAAAY! Gold star for Jason Bourne.

**Steve | 4:23 pm**

What?

**Clint | 4:24 pm**

Secret agent with amnesia.

**James | 4:25 pm**

Stark, my name is James. It is not Jason Bourne, Terminator, Robocop, Elsa, or Jimmy.

**Tony | 4:26 pm**

Aw, come on, kid… they're terms of endearment.

**Clint | 4:27 pm**

You can't call him kid, you idiot; he's old enough to be your grandfather. Him AND Steve, for that matter.

**Tony | 4:27 pm**

Meh. Whatever.

**Steve | 4:28 pm**

We still need to move this stuff, you guys…

**Tony | 4:28 pm**

Yeah, yeah, we're coming.

**Tony | 4:42 pm**

Hey Stevie, why's this apartment look like something out of a '40s black and white movie?

**Steve | 4:43 pm**

Because it feels more like home… You said I could design it any way I wanted and you'd supply me with the necessary components, didn't you?

**Tony | 4:44 pm**

Yeah, sure. But seriously, that color drapes with these sofa cushions? Gurl, that ain't gonna work. _**Nut**_ uh.

**Clint | 4:47 pm**

Oh, joy. All hail the reigning king of interior design. Like you could do better.

**Tony | 4:48 pm**

*coughs* Uhhh… do you see this Tower? MY Tower. That's MY genius interior design you see before you.

**Pepper | 4:49 pm**

Ah, no. 12%, remember?

**Tony | 4:51 pm**

Every time… You're never going to let that go, are you?

**Pepper | 4:51 pm**

;) Nope.

* * *

_**A/N: One of these days I'll write a chapter ending that I actually like… Hope you guys enjoyed it! This chapter was inspired by helping a family member move recently; a lot of my chapter ideas come from what's going on in my life at the time.**_

_** Please feel free to leave me chapter suggestions! I really love hearing from you guys! I'm hoping to update again soon; we'll see about when, but anyway…**_

_**Until next time,**_

_**Arwen ;)**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: YOOOOO! Wazzap? Yes, I know, it's been ages, and I'm really sorry… **__**I hate being busy. But anyway, here's the latest! Woot! Enjoy, mine friends. :D**_

_**Guest: Hey! Thanks for your request; I love the idea! :D I'll definitely do that either for my next chapter or in the near future. :)**_

* * *

**Chapter 12: Of Dentist Visits and Candy Crush Games**

**James**

**Steve | 9:27 am**

Hey, Bucky… I'm going to the dentist this morning, so I'll be back later. Tony'll keep an eye on you, and I shouldn't be out for too long. Okay?

**James | 9:29 am**

The dentist…?

**Steve | 9:30 am**

Yeah, the guy who cleans your teeth. Do you remember Dr. O'Haire from Brooklyn? He was Irish, and your mom would always drag you to him…

**James | 9:32 am**

He would say… he would say I had a dangerous smile. That it'd get all the girls.

**Steve | 9:33 am**

Yeah! Yeah, he did… You remember that?

**James | 9:33 am**

A little bit…

**Steve | 9:34 am **

That's great! :) Anyway, I should only be gone for half an hour.

_**Tony Stark has joined the conversation.**_

**Tony | 9:35 am**

Yeah, cos heaven forbid that Captain Sparkles has a cavity or something… They checking your dentures, Oldie?

**Steve | 9:36 am**

Nice to see you too, Tony…

**James | 9:37 **

Grandfather… Granddad. He had dentures.

**Steve | 9:38 am**

Yeah, you're right! I forgot that… huh.

**Tony | 9:38 am**

WebMD says those are signs of the onset of dementia.

**James | 9:39 am**

What is WebMD?

**Steve | 9:40 am**

Ok, Tony, even YOU have to admit that's hard to remember after almost a century.

**Tony | 9:41 am**

Sure thing, Cap… And Robocop, WebMD is an online thing… They tell you medical stuff. Usually they'll say that you have symptoms of cancer or something, so they're not completely reliable.

**Bucky | 9:41 am**

I see.

**Bucky | 9:45 am**

Steve, when you return, I would appreciate your assistance with our game.

**Steve | 9:46 am**

Oh yeah, sure.

**Tony | 9:47 am**

See, Miss America? You even play granny games. What are you playing, checkers or something?

**Bucky | 9:48 am**

What?

**Steve | 9:48 am**

Tony, for crying out loud… First of all, it's a game I found on the Internet. I'm actually getting a lot more experience with technology and its use in entertainment.

**Bucky | 9:49 am**

Also, we were not playing checkers…

**Tony | 9:50 am**

Sheesh, Cap; you sound like a walking essay. You found an online game, and you're playing more internet games now.

**Steve | (:51 am**

That's basically what I said… Anyway, I need to go. I'll be back around 10:30.

_**Steve Rogers has left the conversation.**_

**Tony | 9:52 am**

Alright, spill. If you're not playing checkers, what ARE you playing?

**James | 9:54 am**

…Steve told me not to tell you.

**Tony | 9:54 am**

Ooh, dirty secrets… hehehe. He'll never know… Come on, you can tell me!

**James | 9:55 am**

It would be… wrong. It is wrong to breach a friend's trust.

**Tony | 9:56 am**

Fiiine… at least give me a hint, will you?

**James | 9:57 am**

Only because you insist… It involves sweets.

**Tony | 9:59 am**

A;jfdsk

**James | 10:02 am**

I do not comprehend the meaning of these letters.

**Tony | 10:06 am**

BAHAHAHA! Sorry, keyboard malfunction… You guys are playing CANDY CRUSH?!

**James | 10:06 am**

…No…

**Tony | 10:07 am**

Seriously? You're a really lame liar, Bourne…

**James | 10:07 am**

I do not understand my relation with the character of Jason Bourne. I have not completed the first film.

**Tony | 10:08 am**

Really? No similarities? Amnesia-prone spy character being hunted by his former employers? That kind of crap?

**James | 10:12 am**

I admit, I have attempted to suppress such feelings of familiarity.

**Tony | 10:13 am**

Can't really blame you…

**Tony | 10:21 am**

Hey, if you come down to the lab, you can have some of this cotton candy fluff Dummy found… No idea where the idiot got it from, but it's good enough.

**James | 10:23 am**

Cotton candy is at Con… Coney… Coney Island, isn't it? It was sold there.

**Tony | 10:24 am**

Uh, yeah… Yeah, I think it was. You can write that in your dear diary and show it to Steve… He might give you a medal for remembering.

**James | 10:24 am**

I am not rewarded for recalling memories…

**Tony | 10:25 am**

It waa joke.;;. anyway, com on if you _**ant **_anyr else ill eat it all my _**shelf**_

**Tony | 10:26 am**

Dngit fingers stki to hte kys

**James | 10:27 am**

Of course. Cotton candy has the consistency of an adhesive when it melts… I think.

**Tony | 10:32 am**

Yeah, yeah, no kidding. Anyway, Candy Crush, dude? How far'd you get? ;D

**James | 10:32 am**

I am at level 39; I have been unable to pass it for the past few days.

**Tony | 10:33 am**

Fun. Hey, bring it down and I'll give you a hand, kiddo.

**James | 10:34 am**

Okay… However, I will remind you that I am significantly older than you.

**Tony | 10:34 am**

Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm still wiser.

**James | 10:35 am**

In what respect?

**Tony | 10:36 am**

I actually know things about this century, I'm a total genius, and… other reasons. And please, when have I ever done anything stupid?

**Tony | 10:37 am**

…Don't answer that.

**Tony | 10:38 am**

Quit smirking.

* * *

_**A/N: Well, there you go… XD I'm not sure if I like the ending; I walked away from this for a long time before coming back to it (general business), so I've lost a bit of the flow… :P But anyway, I love asking something stupid and ironic and then saying "…Actually, don't answer that…", so I used it. XP**_

_**IT'S SUPERNATURAL SEASON 10 DAAAAAY! :DDD Have fun, all my SPN fans… :D I won't be watching (no cable and personal reasons), but I'll definitely be reading up on the spoilers. ;) ENJOY!**_

_**Anyways, until next time. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Arwen ;)**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! **__**I'm so, so sorry for disappearing for almost a year... It's really bad. But I've got a new chapter idea, so I'm back on the road! Hopefully I won't vanish again. :P**_

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

**Chapter 13:**

**Bruce Banner**

_**Group Text with the Avengers**_

**Bruce | 3:14 am**

I still can't believe you convinced me to fly to LA.

**Tony | 3:14 am**

Dnt care _**knead**_ coffee naw to dang eraly

**Clint | 3:15 am**

Really? Why, that's funny. I seem to remember YOU booking the tickets. IT's your own fault.

**Clint | 3:15 am**

*It's

**Tony | 3:17 am**

still don't care

**Bruce | 3:18 am**

What gate are we departing from?

**Tony | 3:19 am**

ask stevies' almight y folder _**seance**_ you have literally evrything in it

**Steve | 3:19 am**

According to the boarding passes, we're leaving from gate E4.

**Bruce | 3:20 am**

Thank you, Steve.

**Tony | 3:27 am**

Thank god for coffee, boys. And random girls. Did we lose james?

**Pepper | 3:28 am**

Random girl…?

**James | 3:28 am**

I am still here. I was browsing the bookstore. Our flight departs in one hour, thirty-two minutes, and approximately thirty five seconds; thus, I figured I had time to relax.

**Tony | 3:29 am**

…Dd you just _**dell **_a joke?

**James | 3:30 am**

; )

**Tony | 3:30 am**

Call the papers!

**Bruce | 3:39 am**

That was… interesting?

**Clint | 3:40 am**

*pukes* more like scarring… Ugh

**Tony | 3:41 am**

Scarring? INteresting? Puking? I wanna see. Where is it?

**Clint | 3:42 am**

I'll tell you in a private text.

**Pepper | 3:42 am**

You don't need to know, Tony.

**Bruce | 3:43 am**

Clint, no…

**Tony | 3:46 am**

A;kjlsfdeoiw HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**James | 3:47 am**

I am confused.

**James | 3:47 am**

I'm

**Natasha | 3:48 am**

We all are, James. Which means it's not worth asking about.

**James | 3:48 am**

I see.

**Steve | 3:52 am**

I must say, this is a long wait for a flight…

**Tony | 3:54 am**

Well, if you'd have let me book flights with my private jet like I SUGGESTED, we wouldn't have to sit here with the peasants. Thor's probably already there.

**James | 3:55 am**

Where is Thor, exactly?

**Clint | 3:56 am**

Fury thought it'd be a bad idea to have him fly on a plane with us. He communes too much with the weather, and we don't need the plane shot down by a bolt of lightning.

**Tony | 3:58 am**

Why ARE we flying on a peasant plane, anyway?

**Natasha | 4:00 am**

Because it's less ostentatious than your private jet.

**Tony | 4:01 am**

Uh, no it's not. People will recognize us. And besides, it's cramped on peasant planes.

**Natasha | 4:02 am**

You'll survive, Stark. You booked first class tickets for a reason.

**Tony | 4:02 am**

Coulda had a _**privateer **_plane all to ourselves… But noooo…

**Clint | 4:03 am**

For the love of all things holy, HSUT IT, Stark! Gosh.

**Tony | 4:05 am**

…Fine. I'm going to the lounge. Maybe they'll be nicer than you jerks.

**Pepper | 4:06 am**

What was that?

**Tony | 4:06 am**

Nothing, dear. :)

* * *

_**A/N: Finally! Woop woop! Hope you liked it! I'm going to get rolling now; I'm actually typing this at the airport waiting for a flight, lol. I'll post this once I'm on the ground again and actually have wifi. -.- Thanks for reading; feel free to leave a suggestion for a conversation! I love prompts. :D**_

_**See youz guys,**_

_**Arwen ;)**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: Wow… Last updated in July… I guess that means I suck. :P Although in my defense, it's shorter than the break before that.**_

_**Aaaanyway… Here we go. Since it's finals week for me, and since at some point I have to accept the fact that Spiderman is part of the Avengers now… I figured I'd do something to do with school. Have fun.**_

**Chapter 14: In Which Matrices Suck**

**Peter Parker**

_**Group Text with the Avengers**_

**Peter | 4:33 pm**

ugh… Guyssss does anyone know how to do matrices?

**Clint | 4:34 pm**

Who added the kid to the text? No offense.

**Natasha | 4:34 pm**

You're one to talk…

**Tony | 4:35 pm**

Matrices? Who still does matrices? Geez. Come over and I'll show you how it's done, Onesie.

**James | 4:36 pm**

Onesie? Aren't those clothes for babies?

**Tony | 4:36 pm**

Exactly. We should pick you out a pair, come to think of it.

**Clint | 4:37 pm**

They're honestly pretty darn comfortable. Not gonna lie.

**Wanda | 4:38 pm**

…

**Sam | 4:38 pm**

Lol wow… Anything else you'd like to confess, my son?

**Tony | 4:39 pm**

Forgive me, Father, for I have committed the sin of no sense of style or dignity whatsoever :(

**Sam | 4:39 pm**

Straight to purgatory

**Peter | 4:42 pm**

Back sorry had to pee

**Peter | 4:44 pm**

Wow! uh thanks a lot Mr stark but I can't afford Amtrak tix rn…

**Steve | 4:45 pm**

It's sad how much a train ticket costs these days…

**Tony | 4:45 pm**

Oh, gosh, save us the nostalgia kick. Petey, you know how to FaceTime? I'm gonna send a file to your phone that'll blow it right out of the water.

**Natasha | 4:46 pm**

Geek out somewhere else, Tony.

**Tony | 4:46 pm**

Yeah whatever.

**Peter | 4:46 pm**

Oh, wow! Thanks mr stark oh my gosh wow thank you!

_**Peter and Tony have left the conversation.**_

**Clint | 4:50 pm**

Anyone else for homework help? I'm pretty good at _**spilling**_ and stuff…

**Clint | 4:50 pm**

*_**spieling**_

**Clint | 4:50 pm**

Dangnammit **SPELLING

**Natasha | 4:51 pm**

…Don't give up your day job.

_**A/N: Yeah that was sucky. Anyway. :P I'll try to update more often… Forgive me for abandoning you all. School is rough, man. But at any rate, go, fly, flee! Go see Cap 3 cos it was freaking awesome, and I want to reference it, but I probably can't until next month or so. :P So go!**_

_**Bai,**_

_**Arwen ;)**_


End file.
